History Jokes: Jokes and anecdotes of famous people


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

A Birthday Joke 
Franklin Adams (1881-1960), an American journalist and writer of light funny poems, once tested Beatrice Kaufman by asking here what birthday was today. "Yours?" Beatrice guessed, showing visible signs of hope. "No, but you are getting warm", said Adams. "It's Shakespeare's."
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Example for the entire army 
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic story on President Lincoln. Said he : "I was with several other young officers, also carrying reports to the War Department, and one morning we were late. In this instance we were in a desperate hurry to deliver the papers, in order to be able to catch the train returning to camp.

"On the winding, dark staircase of the old War Department, which many will remember, it was our misfortune, while taking about three stairs at a time, to run a certain head like a catapult into the body of the President,striking him in the region of the right lower vest pocket. "

The usual surprised and relaxed grunt of a man thus assailed came
promptly.
"We quickly sent an apology in the direction of the dimly seen form, feeling that the ungracious shock was expensive, even to the humblest clerk in the department. "

A second glance revealed to us the President as the victim of the collision. Then followed a special tender of 'ten thousand pardons,' and the President's reply : " 'One's enough; I wish the whole army would charge like that.'"

From ABE LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF THE FUNNY AND WITTY ANECDOTES THAT MADE LINCOLN FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S GREATEST STORY TELLER
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It's tennis to me! 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:38 PM - Jokes and anecdotes of famous people, Humorous Stories about Sports and Games
Posted by Court Jester
Pop sensation Christina Aguilera was once introduced to the uncrowned king of golf, Tiger Woods. "Christina, I love your music," Woods declared. "I have all your CDs..." "Sorry, I don't follow tennis," Aguilera said, "so I don't know much about you."

See also:

An interesting approach to golf
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Erigena and the King (the original Irish joke) 
One day tho king and Erigena sat on opposite sides of the
table, with the courtiers ranged around. The scholar—through
forgetfulness or ignorance—transgressed some of the rules of etiquette,
so as to offend the fastidious taste of those who sat by, upon which,
the king asked him what was the difference between a Scot* and a
sot (Quid distat inter Scottum et Sottum?). "
"Tabula tantum" (Just the breadth of the table)," said Erigena; and it is more
than likely that the royal witling ventured on no more puns, for
that day at least, at the scholar's expense. Erigena is said to have
died in France some time previous to the year 877.


* A Scot then meant a native of Ireland

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Love and Glory 
In the year 863, Harold destroyed the host of
princes who had long divided Norway, and united
the whole of the provinces under his own dominion.
Being enamoured of Gida, the daughter of Prince
Eric, of Hadaland, he sent some persons of his suit
to conduct her to court. "Tell your master," said
the high-born princess, " that I will never consent to
marry him, until he shall reign over the whole of Norway,
instead of a few provinces." Harold was not
discouraged by this reply, but regarded it as a
summons to glory. He assembled troops, attacked all
the remaining chiefs of provinces, exterminated them
one after another, and thus won the hand of the fair
Gida.

From The Percy Anecdotes
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