History Jokes: American history in jokes, anecdotes and funny stories


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

A Birthday Joke 
Franklin Adams (1881-1960), an American journalist and writer of light funny poems, once tested Beatrice Kaufman by asking here what birthday was today. "Yours?" Beatrice guessed, showing visible signs of hope. "No, but you are getting warm", said Adams. "It's Shakespeare's."
view entry ( 1242 views )   |  permalink
Example for the entire army 
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic story on President Lincoln. Said he : "I was with several other young officers, also carrying reports to the War Department, and one morning we were late. In this instance we were in a desperate hurry to deliver the papers, in order to be able to catch the train returning to camp.

"On the winding, dark staircase of the old War Department, which many will remember, it was our misfortune, while taking about three stairs at a time, to run a certain head like a catapult into the body of the President,striking him in the region of the right lower vest pocket. "

The usual surprised and relaxed grunt of a man thus assailed came
promptly.
"We quickly sent an apology in the direction of the dimly seen form, feeling that the ungracious shock was expensive, even to the humblest clerk in the department. "

A second glance revealed to us the President as the victim of the collision. Then followed a special tender of 'ten thousand pardons,' and the President's reply : " 'One's enough; I wish the whole army would charge like that.'"

From ABE LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF THE FUNNY AND WITTY ANECDOTES THAT MADE LINCOLN FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S GREATEST STORY TELLER
view entry ( 510 views )   |  permalink
USA vs. Canada -- a Frenchman's Joke 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:26 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
The French ambassador to Washington, Jean Jusserand, was once discussing matters of European foreign politics with Theodore Roosevelt's wife. "Why don't you learn from the United States and Canada?" the First Lady responded. "We have a three-thousand-mile unfortified peaceful frontier. You people arm yourselves to the teeth." "Ah, madame," Jusserand sighed. "Perhaps we could exchange neighbors."
view entry ( 450 views )   |  permalink
An Old Indian 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:07 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
AGED INDIAN.
The French, in the year 1696, attacked the Iroquois
Indians in Canada, whom they surprised and dispersed.
An illustrious warrior of that nation, who was more
than a hundred years old, disdaining to fly, or unable
to do it, was taken prisoner, and abandoned to the
savages attached to the French force, who, following
their barbarous customs, made him suffer the most
horrible torments. The old man never suffered a sigh
to escape him, but boldly reproached his countrymen
with rendering themselves slaves to the Europeans, of
whom he spoke with great contempt. These invectives
aggravated one of the spectators, who gave him three
or four blows with his sword, to finish him. "Thou
art wrong," said the prisoner, coolly, " to shorten my
life ; thou wouldst have had more time to learn how
to die like a man."

From The Percy Anecdotes
view entry ( 406 views )   |  permalink
Golf - an interesting approach! 
Louis B. Mayer (American producer, co-founder of MGM) had an admiration for 'class' and wanted badly to possess it. After being told that golf was a classy American sport, he decided to take it up. He never was able, however, to get the hang of it, as he never quite understood that the game was scored in strokes. Instead he treated golf as a kind of race. He employed two caddies. One caddy was posted down the fairway to locate the ball at once. Meanwhile caddy number two would run ahead, Mayer pelting behind him, to position himself for the next shot. When the game was over, Mayer would consult his watch. 'We made it in one hour and seven minutes! Three minutes better than yesterday.'

According to S. Birmingham, "The Rest of Us"
view entry ( 497 views )   |  permalink

<<First <Back | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Next> Last>>


Privacy Policy