History Jokes: USA vs. Canada -- a Frenchman's Joke

Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

USA vs. Canada -- a Frenchman's Joke 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:26 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
The French ambassador to Washington, Jean Jusserand, was once discussing matters of European foreign politics with Theodore Roosevelt's wife. "Why don't you learn from the United States and Canada?" the First Lady responded. "We have a three-thousand-mile unfortified peaceful frontier. You people arm yourselves to the teeth." "Ah, madame," Jusserand sighed. "Perhaps we could exchange neighbors."
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Erigena and the King (the original Irish joke) 
One day tho king and Erigena sat on opposite sides of the
table, with the courtiers ranged around. The scholar—through
forgetfulness or ignorance—transgressed some of the rules of etiquette,
so as to offend the fastidious taste of those who sat by, upon which,
the king asked him what was the difference between a Scot* and a
sot (Quid distat inter Scottum et Sottum?). "
"Tabula tantum" (Just the breadth of the table)," said Erigena; and it is more
than likely that the royal witling ventured on no more puns, for
that day at least, at the scholar's expense. Erigena is said to have
died in France some time previous to the year 877.

* A Scot then meant a native of Ireland

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An Old Indian 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:07 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
The French, in the year 1696, attacked the Iroquois
Indians in Canada, whom they surprised and dispersed.
An illustrious warrior of that nation, who was more
than a hundred years old, disdaining to fly, or unable
to do it, was taken prisoner, and abandoned to the
savages attached to the French force, who, following
their barbarous customs, made him suffer the most
horrible torments. The old man never suffered a sigh
to escape him, but boldly reproached his countrymen
with rendering themselves slaves to the Europeans, of
whom he spoke with great contempt. These invectives
aggravated one of the spectators, who gave him three
or four blows with his sword, to finish him. "Thou
art wrong," said the prisoner, coolly, " to shorten my
life ; thou wouldst have had more time to learn how
to die like a man."

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Last wish: a newspaper 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 08:05 PM - British humor, history of England, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
In the memorable battle of Trafalgar, William
Chambers, master of the Royal Sovereign, had part
of his side carried away while steering the ship towards
the close of the action. He just lived until
the firing ceased, when, with a feeble voice, he exclaimed,
"Oh, could I but read the Gazette of this
glorious day !" and, with the remaining breath still
left him, gave three feeble cheers, in which he
joined by another lying man, and both immediately

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Love and Glory 
In the year 863, Harold destroyed the host of
princes who had long divided Norway, and united
the whole of the provinces under his own dominion.
Being enamoured of Gida, the daughter of Prince
Eric, of Hadaland, he sent some persons of his suit
to conduct her to court. "Tell your master," said
the high-born princess, " that I will never consent to
marry him, until he shall reign over the whole of Norway,
instead of a few provinces." Harold was not
discouraged by this reply, but regarded it as a
summons to glory. He assembled troops, attacked all
the remaining chiefs of provinces, exterminated them
one after another, and thus won the hand of the fair

From The Percy Anecdotes
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