History Jokes: Jokes and anecdotes of famous people

Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord Lieutenant, said to Swift one day, "The air of Ireland is excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down before her, "don't say so in England, for if you do they will tax it."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes

Mozart was once approached by a young man who was interested in Mozart's advice on how to compose a symphony. Since he was still very young, Mozart recommended that he start by composing ballads. Surprised, the young man responded, "But you wrote symphonies when you were only ten years old." "But I didn't have to ask how," countered Mozart.

Maria Fedorovna, Empress of Russia and wife of Tsar Alexander III, was known for her charitable works. In fact, she once saved a comdemned man from exile in Siberia by changing a single comma in the warrant signed by her husband. Instead of reading: "Pardon impossible, to be sent to Siberia," she changed the document to read: "Pardon, impossible to be sent to Siberia." The man was thus saved and released.

King Louis XI of France was a firm believer in astrology and yet he was somewhat uneasy when an astrologer accurately predicted the death of a lady at court. He felt the astrologer would be better off dead, so Louis called him to his apartments where his servants were ordered to throw him out the window once given the signal.

First, however, Louis asked the man a question, "You claim to understand astrology and to know the fate of others, so tell me what your fate will be and how long you have to live." The astrologer replied, "I shall die just three days before Your Majesty." This so unnerved the king that he decided to let the astrologer live.

Lewis, returning home from a walking tour, had just boarded the first class compartment of his train. An old lady, startled at seeing Lewis' unkempt appearance asked him, "Have you a first-class ticket?" "Yes, madam," he replied, "but I'm afraid I'll be needing it for myself."