History Jokes: American history in jokes, anecdotes and funny stories


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Lincoln on the use of words in historic speeches 
Thursday, April 9, 2009, 08:01 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Administrator
Government Printer Defrees, when one of the President's messages was being printed, was a good deal disturbed by the use of the term "sugar- coated," and finally went to Mr. Lincoln about it.

Their relations to each other being of the most intimate character, he told the President frankly that he ought to remember that a message to Congress was a different affair from a speech at a mass meeting in Illinois; that the messages became a part of history, and should be written accordingly.

"What is the matter now?" inquired the President.

"Why," said Defrees, "you have used an undignified expression in the message"; and, reading the paragraph aloud, he added, "I would alter the structure of that, if I were you."

"Defrees," replied the President, "that word expresses exactly my idea, and I am not going to change it. The time will never come in this country when people won't know exactly what 'sugar-coated' means."
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Ben Wade's Wit 
Friday, December 12, 2008, 05:34 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Famous funny quotes and sayings
Posted by Court Jester
Old Ben Wade was traveling over the Union Pacific railroad, through Cheyenne and Laramie. Sitting down by Juto Daniels, who ran a ranch at Laramie, old Ben remarked:

"This is a very bad country—a God-forsaken country, Mr. Daniels."

"You are mistaken, Senator," said Jules. " This is a very good country. All it lacks is water and good society."

"Yes, that's all hell lacks," growled old Ben.
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John Adams on being a Vice President 
Sunday, November 9, 2008, 04:12 AM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Administrator
John Adams, while serving as the Vice President:

"... My country has in its wisdom contrived
for me the most insignificant office
that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination
conceived. And as I can do neither good nor
evil, I must be borne away by others, and meet the
common fate. "

From The Life of John Adams by Charles Francis Adams, John Quincy Adams
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A Birthday Joke 
Franklin Adams (1881-1960), an American journalist and writer of light funny poems, once tested Beatrice Kaufman by asking here what birthday was today. "Yours?" Beatrice guessed, showing visible signs of hope. "No, but you are getting warm", said Adams. "It's Shakespeare's."
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Example for the entire army 
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic story on President Lincoln. Said he : "I was with several other young officers, also carrying reports to the War Department, and one morning we were late. In this instance we were in a desperate hurry to deliver the papers, in order to be able to catch the train returning to camp.

"On the winding, dark staircase of the old War Department, which many will remember, it was our misfortune, while taking about three stairs at a time, to run a certain head like a catapult into the body of the President,striking him in the region of the right lower vest pocket. "

The usual surprised and relaxed grunt of a man thus assailed came
promptly.
"We quickly sent an apology in the direction of the dimly seen form, feeling that the ungracious shock was expensive, even to the humblest clerk in the department. "

A second glance revealed to us the President as the victim of the collision. Then followed a special tender of 'ten thousand pardons,' and the President's reply : " 'One's enough; I wish the whole army would charge like that.'"

From ABE LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF THE FUNNY AND WITTY ANECDOTES THAT MADE LINCOLN FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S GREATEST STORY TELLER
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