History Jokes: That rat


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

That rat 
George Cohan, an American playwright, actor, songwriter and producer, once auditioned an actor for a role. After the actor left, Cohan said to his staff, "I hate that rat. Remind me never to hire him again unless we need him."

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P.T. Barnum's Elephant 
P. T. Barnum, the famed American circus entrepreneur and the reputed originator of the phrase "There's a sucker born every minute", at one point used an elephant to draw a plow at his private farm. A bewildered neighbor, although a friend of the circus man, got into an argument with Barnum about the appropriateness of this enterprise. Barnum expressed his view that an elephant is after all just another working animal on the farm.
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A monkey and a parrot 
Tuesday, April 8, 2008, 06:15 PM - History of France
Posted by Court Jester
A young Madame de Choiseul longed for a parrot, that
should be a miracle of eloquence ; and, as every shop in Paris
then sold macaws, parrots, cockatoos, &c., a parrot was soon
found for the nymph ; but -she had another passion, and was
enamoured of General Jackoo, a celebrated monkey, at Astley's :
ingots of gold were offered for this monkey, but Astley demanded
a terre for life ; but fortunately, another miracle of a monkey
was heard of, who was not in so exalted a sphere of life, being
only in a kitchen, where he had learned to pluck fowls with
inimitable dexterity. This dear animal was not invaluable,
was bought, and presented to Madame de Choiseul, who immediately
made him the secretaire de ses commandemens. The
first time she went out, the two animals were locked up in
her bedchamber. When the lady returned, Jackoo the second
received her with all the empressement possible but where
was Poll ? found at last under the bed, shivering and cowering
and without a feather, as stark as any Christian. Now,
the two animals had been presented by two rival lovers of
Madame ; and Walpole humorously tells us " Poll's presenter
concluded that his rival had given the monkey with that very
view, challenged him, they fought, and both were wounded ;
and an heroic adventure it was !"

From A Century of Anecdote from 1760-1860 by John Timbs
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King Charles II on Writing History 
When Leti, the historian, was one day attending
the levee of Charles the Second, he said
to him, " Leti. I hear that you are writing the
History of the Court of England." "Sir, I
have been for some time preparing materials for
such a history." " Take care that your work
give no offence," said the prince. Leti replied,
"Sir, I will do what I can, but if a man were
as wise as Solomon, he would scarcely be able to
avoid giving offence." "Why, then," rejoined
the king, "be as wise as Solomon; write proverbs,
not histories."

From Percy Anecdotes
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A Strange Wedding 
Tuesday, April 8, 2008, 05:17 PM - Jokes and funny Stories about Kings and Queens, royal history, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
In the year 1733, when Christian IV. King
of Denmurk, and his consort, Sophia Magdalena,
visited their Norwegian dominions, they took up
their residence in the house of Colons! Colbiurnson
in Frederickshald. The colonel, for the diversion
of his illustrious guests, exhibited before
them what is called a Jubilee Wedding. There
were four couples married, all rustic people, invited
from the adjacent country, and out of these,
there was none under a hundred years old; so
th:it all their ages put together, made upwards
of eight hundred years! Their names were Ole
Torveson Sologsteen, who lived eight years afterwards,
and his wife Kelje ten years; Jern
Oer, who lived six years after, and his wife Ingen,
who lived seven years; Ole Besoleca and
his wife N.; and Hans Folasken, who lived
ten years after, and brought with him Joram Gallen,
who was not his wife, but being a hundred
years old, he borrowed her for this ceremony;
she also lived ten years afterwards.
These eight married people made themselves
extremely merry at this public wedding; and the
women, according to the custom of the country
on bridal occasions, danced with green wreathe
upon their heads. At their departure, each
couple received from their majesties a handsome
present to carry home.

From Percy Anecdotes
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