History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories. Ancient History in jokes and anecdotes

Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Doctors and teachers 
Sunday, November 28, 2010, 06:12 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman
Posted by Administrator

Athenaeus, in Wise Men at Dinner says: If there were no doctors, there would be nothing more stupid than teachers.
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Demotivational quote from Epictetus 
Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 11:11 AM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Famous funny quotes and sayings
Posted by Court Jester
You ought to possess your whole body as a poor mule loaded, as long as it is possible, as long as you are allowed. But if there be a press, and a soldier should lay hold of it, let it go, do not resist, nor murmur; if you do, you will receive blows, and nevertheless you will also lose the mule.

Epictetus, Discourses. Book IV

Interestingly, the second part of this quote is a lot more practical, when not fraught with the burden of a philosophical analogy.
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Xerxes--King of Persia 
Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 07:39 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Army and Navy Jokes and Anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
While retreating from Greece aboard a Phonecian ship, a dangerous storm blew up. The ship was overloaded with Persians and it looked as though the ship would sink. Xerxes asked the pilot if there was anyway to survive and was told that the ship's load must be lighted substantially. On hearing this, the king addressed the Persians, "It is on you that my safety depends. Now let some of you show your regard for your king." Many obediently threw themselves overboard and the ship, now significantly lighter, was able to reach the shore safely. Xerxes quickly ordered that the pilot of the ship be given a golden crown for preserving his life, but then also commanded his head be cut off for causing the death of so many Perisans at sea.
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Sir Arthur Evans: a saddened archaeologist 
Sir Arthur Evans (July 8, 1851 July 11, 1941), a British archaeologist most famous for unearthing the palace of Knossos on the island of Crete, was entertaining a group of friends on his 90th birthday. One of his guests mentioned that the Germans had destroyed Knossos. Evans was so devastated by this news that he only lived three days past that fateful evening. The sad irony lies in the fact that Evans' guest was misinformed. The Germans did not destroy the palace. On the contrary, precautions had been made by them to ensure that the ancient ruin suffered no damage whatsoever.
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Demosthenes' comeback 
Saturday, April 5, 2008, 11:46 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes, "The Athenians will kill you if they are in a rage." Demosthenes replied, "And they will kill you if they are in the right mind."
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