Puns and Conundrums
Some Puns and Conundrums from "Wit and Humor of the Age" by Melville De Lancey Landon, Mark Twain
Why is a lawyer like a restless sleeper?
He lies first on one side and then on the other
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What animal would be likely to devour a near relation?
The ant-eater.
Why is a gun like a jury?
It goes off when discharged.
What animal has death no effect upon?
A pig; when killed he can be cured.
Why are teeth like verbs?
They are regular, irregular and defective
Why is a kiss like a scandal?
Because it goes from mouth to mouth.
Why is the most discontented man, the most easily satisfied?
Nothing satisfies him.
"The peace maker" - a pair of scisors.
"Can't be beat" - turnip.
Why is a lawyer like a restless sleeper?
He lies first on one side and then on the other
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What animal would be likely to devour a near relation?
The ant-eater.
Why is a gun like a jury?
It goes off when discharged.
What animal has death no effect upon?
A pig; when killed he can be cured.
Why are teeth like verbs?
They are regular, irregular and defective
Why is a kiss like a scandal?
Because it goes from mouth to mouth.
Why is the most discontented man, the most easily satisfied?
Nothing satisfies him.
"The peace maker" - a pair of scisors.
"Can't be beat" - turnip.