History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories.


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. For some of these short jokes explanations had to be provided. Enjoy!

Lord Byron's Childe Harold: a literary anecdote 
Thursday, October 16, 2008, 08:03 PM - Anecdotes and jokes about writers, philosophers and scientists, British humor, history of England
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Mr Dallas, who so ably fulfilled the duties of accoucheur
to the Childe, was also resolved that it
should not come into the world without a sufficient
enunciation ; and, accordingly, prepared a review of
it for a literary journal to be published immediately
on the appearance of the poem. By a very awkward
mistake, however, the review appeared before
the thing reviewed ; and Byron was greatly vexed,
from a very likely supposition that he would be
considered the author of it. Mr. Dallas, however,
explained, and the matter was made up.
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Sir Arthur Evans: a saddened archaeologist 
Sir Arthur Evans (July 8, 1851 – July 11, 1941), a British archaeologist most famous for unearthing the palace of Knossos on the island of Crete, was entertaining a group of friends on his 90th birthday. One of his guests mentioned that the Germans had destroyed Knossos. Evans was so devastated by this news that he only lived three days past that fateful evening. The sad irony lies in the fact that Evans' guest was misinformed. The Germans did not destroy the palace. On the contrary, precautions had been made by them to ensure that the ancient ruin suffered no damage whatsoever.
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A Birthday Joke 
Franklin Adams (1881-1960), an American journalist and writer of light funny poems, once tested Beatrice Kaufman by asking here what birthday was today. "Yours?" Beatrice guessed, showing visible signs of hope. "No, but you are getting warm", said Adams. "It's Shakespeare's."
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Words from God 
The historicity of this anecdote is more than doubtful. It does, however, provide a beautiful insight into the ways human mind often operates:

A middle-aged Londoner was faced with a difficult decision when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary, both willing to join him in matrimony. Although not a religious man, this Londoner stumbled into a church and, kneeling down in the pew, asked God for advice on whether he should have Ann or Maria for his wife. When the man got up he was most pleased to see that the Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: ‘Ave Maria.

From Engraved Style
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Example for the entire army 
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic story on President Lincoln. Said he : "I was with several other young officers, also carrying reports to the War Department, and one morning we were late. In this instance we were in a desperate hurry to deliver the papers, in order to be able to catch the train returning to camp.

"On the winding, dark staircase of the old War Department, which many will remember, it was our misfortune, while taking about three stairs at a time, to run a certain head like a catapult into the body of the President,striking him in the region of the right lower vest pocket. "

The usual surprised and relaxed grunt of a man thus assailed came
promptly.
"We quickly sent an apology in the direction of the dimly seen form, feeling that the ungracious shock was expensive, even to the humblest clerk in the department. "

A second glance revealed to us the President as the victim of the collision. Then followed a special tender of 'ten thousand pardons,' and the President's reply : " 'One's enough; I wish the whole army would charge like that.'"

From ABE LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF THE FUNNY AND WITTY ANECDOTES THAT MADE LINCOLN FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S GREATEST STORY TELLER
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