History Jokes: Quakers in the ranks


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Quakers in the ranks 
Thursday, October 4, 2007, 10:45 PM - Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
An amusing incident occurred at the Provost Marshal's office at Gen. Lee's head-quarters at Orange Court House, Va. Four Quakers were brought in as conscripts from London. They were ordered to fall in the ranks, in order to be marched to the command to which they were to be assigned. They refused, saying, "We will not fall in, but will follow whithersoever thou leadest." A few persuasive arguments, however, in the shape of thrusts with bayonets, changed their opinions, and they fell in and marched off to camp.
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King's Jester 
Thursday, October 4, 2007, 08:04 PM - Jokes and funny Stories about Kings and Queens, royal history, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester

King James was complaining one time of the leannesse of his Hunting Horse, and swore by his sole he could see no reason but his should be as fat as any of his subjects; for he bestow'd upon him as good feeding,keeping, and as easy riding as any one did, and yet the jade was leane. Archee, his foole, standing by, told him, "If that be all, take no care: I'll teach your Majestie a way to raise his fleshe presently; and if he be not as fat as ever he wallow, you shall ride me." "I pr'y thee, foole, how?" sayd the King. " Why, doe but make him a Bishoppe, and I'le warrant you," sayes Archee.
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Maximilian I and a beggar 
Thursday, October 4, 2007, 12:28 AM - Jokes and funny Stories about Kings and Queens, royal history, Medieval jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
A beggar once asked alms of the Emperor Maximilian I., who bestowed upon him a small coin. The beggar appeared dissatisfied with the smallness of the gift, and on being asked why, he replied that it was a very little sum for an emperor, and that his highness should remember that we were all descended from one father, and were therefore all brothers. Maximilian smiled good-humouredly, and replied: "Go—go, my good man: if each of your brothers gives you as much as I have done, you will very soon be far richer than me."
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Spartan meal 

Xerxes, when he fled from Greece, left
Mardonius all his costly dinner-service of plate.
Pausanias, aware of this, ordered the cooks, after the
death of Mardonius at Plataea, to prepare a dinner
precisely as they would have done for Mardonius.
When this was ready, and the divans
and gold and silver tables had been duly set out,
he told his own servants to prepare a Spartan
dinner. Laughing heartily at the contrast, he
called his generals and said, "Gentlemen, I
wished to point out to you the folly of this Persian
general, who with all this grandeur came to rob
you of your miserable meal."
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Reading Hesiod 
Tuesday, October 2, 2007, 03:42 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman
Posted by Court Jester
A Spartan was praising a saying of Hesiod's,
"Not even an ox would be lost if one had not
a bad neighbour," in the hearing of Diogenes, who
cynically replied, "But the Messenians are lost,
and their oxen too; and you are their neighbours."
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