History Jokes: Spartan meal


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Spartan meal 

Xerxes, when he fled from Greece, left
Mardonius all his costly dinner-service of plate.
Pausanias, aware of this, ordered the cooks, after the
death of Mardonius at Plataea, to prepare a dinner
precisely as they would have done for Mardonius.
When this was ready, and the divans
and gold and silver tables had been duly set out,
he told his own servants to prepare a Spartan
dinner. Laughing heartily at the contrast, he
called his generals and said, "Gentlemen, I
wished to point out to you the folly of this Persian
general, who with all this grandeur came to rob
you of your miserable meal."
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Reading Hesiod 
Tuesday, October 2, 2007, 03:42 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman
Posted by Court Jester
A Spartan was praising a saying of Hesiod's,
"Not even an ox would be lost if one had not
a bad neighbour," in the hearing of Diogenes, who
cynically replied, "But the Messenians are lost,
and their oxen too; and you are their neighbours."
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Against Revolutions 
Tuesday, October 2, 2007, 03:37 PM - Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
Duncan Broadfoot was a studious shoemaker, and
much addicted to reading works on astronomy. Ae day
he got into a heated argument wi' Saunders Veitch
regarding the merits and demerits o' the French revolution.
Duncan stood erect. His eyes flashed, and he
placed the fore-finger of his right hand in -the palm of
his left, and thus spoke: "Noo, Saunders, if I was an
inhabitant o' ane o' the maist important planets, and if
ony o' the folk thereon started a revolution, and cam'
to me and advised me to tak' up the sword, gun or
Lochaber ax as the case might be, I wad just eye them
wi' scorn, and most dignified and unmistakable disdain,
and tell them to gang to the deevil wi' baith them and
their revolutions."
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Stonewall Jackson 
Monday, October 1, 2007, 01:15 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester


At a council of generals early in the war, one remarked able to perform a duty that it was proposed to assign him. " Wounded !" said Jackson. "If it really is so, I think it must have been by an accidental discharge of his duty."
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Librarian to Francis I 

The famous Duval, librarian to the Emperor Francis the First, often used to reply to questions that were put to him, "I do not know." An ignoramus one day said to him, "But the emperor pays you for knowing." "The emperor," he replied, "pays me for what I know; if he were to pay me for what I am ignorant of, all the treasures of his empire would not be sufficient."
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