History Jokes: General Kelley and a Secession Girl


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

General Kelley and a Secession Girl 
Friday, September 28, 2007, 06:39 PM - Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Administrator
When the General was in quest of guerrillas in Western Virginia, he captured a young woman named Sallie Dusky, two brothers of whom were Captains in the rebel army. The General, feeling confident that the girl knew the hiding-places of the guerrillas, had a private conversation with her, and during the interview, having failed to get much satisfaction, he told her, if she would make a clean breast of it, he would give her the chances for a husband of all the young officers in his staff. This failed to bring the information, and Sallie was taken away in charge of Captain Baggs. As she moved away from the General's presence, she asked the Captain if the General was really in earnest in making the last proposition. Baggs assured her that the General was sincere, and that he would have lived up to his promise. The girl assumed a kind of thoughtful manner, and after a short time replied: “Well, I believe I'd about as lief have the old man (meaning the General himself) as any of 'em."
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Thomas Aquinas and the Pope 
Friday, September 28, 2007, 06:21 PM - Religious jokes, Church history jokes, Clean Christian jokes, Medieval jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Administrator
St. Thomas was one day with Pope Innocent
the Fourth in his closet, when an officer of his
chancery came in with a bag of gold, procured by
Absolutions and Indulgences. The Pope profanely
said: "See, young man, the Church is not what
it was in the times when it used to say,
Silver and gold have I none"
-- ”Holy Father, that is very true,
indeed," replied St. Thomas,
"but then it cannot say to the poor afflicted with
“the palsy, Rise, take up thy bed and walk.”
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Thomas Aquinas 

St. Thomas possessing an ardent mind, devoted it to the studies then in vogue, scholastic philosophy and theology. In the latter, indeed, he was so eminently successful, that Bucer said of him: Tolle Thomam, et Ecciesiam Romam subverterem: "Take away St. Thomas, and I will effect the downfall of the Roman Church."

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Thomas Aquinas - bos mutus 
Friday, September 28, 2007, 05:33 PM - Medieval jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Administrator
THIS extraordinary person, like many men
of great talents, showed in his early youth none of
that liveliness and vivacity of disposition which is
but too often mistaken for quick parts. He was
called by his companions “bos mutus” (silent ox),
but his master, Albert the Great,
more capable of distinguishing,
used to say of him to those who gave
him that odious appellation: “The learned bellowing
of this silent ox will one day fill up the universe".
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Louis IX and "a lady of quality" 
Friday, September 28, 2007, 05:16 PM - Medieval jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Administrator
A Lady of quality once appearing before Louis,
to solicit some favour of him, in a dress too
juvenile for her years, the good Monarch said to her:
"Madam, I will take care of your suit,
if you will take care of your situation. Your beauty
once made a great noise in this kingdom, but
it is passed like a flower in the field. It is in
vain that you endeavour to bring it back again;
you had much better attend to the beat¿y of the
mind, which never fades."
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