History Jokes: Ancient History in jokes and anecdotes


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Demosthenes' comeback 
Saturday, April 5, 2008, 11:46 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes, "The Athenians will kill you if they are in a rage." Demosthenes replied, "And they will kill you if they are in the right mind."
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Alexander the Great as Parmenion 
After Alexander had conquered Egypt, King Darius of Persia offered Alexander generous terms for peace.

Darius would pay Alexander 10,000 talents for releasing Perisan prisoners, give him the areas west of the Euphrates and he would hand over his daughter to Alexander in marriage.

Alexander was unsure if he should accept these terms and consulted his general, Parmenion. Parmenion said, "If I were Alexander, I would accept these offers."
Alexander countered, "So would I, if I were Parmenion."

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Pyrrhic victory 
Monday, March 24, 2008, 01:57 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Famous funny quotes and sayings
Posted by Court Jester
Pyrrhus, after his victory ofer the Romans, near the river Siris, said to those sent to congratulate him, "One more such victory and Pyrrhus is undone."

From Dictionary of Phrase and Fable: Giving the Derivation, Source, Or Origin of Common Phrases, Allusions and Words that have a Tale to Tell by Ebenezer Cobham Brewer
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Cato and statues 
Sunday, March 16, 2008, 12:52 AM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
Cato, on observing that statues were being
set up in honour of many, remarked, "I would
rather people would ask, why is there not a statue
to Cato, than why there is."

From Greek Wit: A Collection of Smart Sayings and Anecdotes by Frederick Apthorp Paley
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Caesar and the pilot 
Once he had taken ship in disguise to cross the Adriatic Sea, and the helmsman, terrified by the adverse wind, dared not pursue his course. But Caesar said to him, " Fear not, my friend! You carry Caesar and his fortunes!"

From the Bible for Leaners
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