History Jokes: American history in jokes, anecdotes and funny stories


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Mark Twain's pious remark 
Once a notoriously tough businessman told Mark Twain, "Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I will climb Mount Sinai and read the Ten Commandments aloud at the top." Disgusted, Twain replied, "I have a better idea. You could stay at home in Boston and keep them."


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President Truman and his economists 
Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 07:43 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts
Posted by Court Jester
Tired of conflicting views from economists, Harry expressed his frustration and joked, "All my economists say, 'on one hand...on the other.' Give me a one-handed economist!"
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt and tedious small talk 
Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 01:18 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
Roosevelt was often bored by the tedious small talk that was required of him at social functions. He often felt as if those with whom he conversed were seldom paying attention to what was said. To prove his point, sometimes Roosevelt would begin a conversation by saying, "I murdered my grandmother this morning." Often these words were met with polite approval. On one occasion, however, an attentive listener gave the witty reply, "I'm sure she had it coming to her."
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Edgar Allan Poe: gross neglect of duty 
In 1831, Edgar Allan Poe was allegedly expelled from West Point for neglecting the dress code during public parade. It is said that he mocked the dress instructions by appearing naked, with a rifle over his shoulder, wearing a white belt and gloves. He was released from the academy for "gross neglect of duty".
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Lincoln on the use of words in historic speeches 
Thursday, April 9, 2009, 08:01 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Administrator
Government Printer Defrees, when one of the President's messages was being printed, was a good deal disturbed by the use of the term "sugar- coated," and finally went to Mr. Lincoln about it.

Their relations to each other being of the most intimate character, he told the President frankly that he ought to remember that a message to Congress was a different affair from a speech at a mass meeting in Illinois; that the messages became a part of history, and should be written accordingly.

"What is the matter now?" inquired the President.

"Why," said Defrees, "you have used an undignified expression in the message"; and, reading the paragraph aloud, he added, "I would alter the structure of that, if I were you."

"Defrees," replied the President, "that word expresses exactly my idea, and I am not going to change it. The time will never come in this country when people won't know exactly what 'sugar-coated' means."
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