History Jokes: Civil war jokes and anecdotes


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Lincoln and a Soldier's Request for Furlough 
President Lincoln received the following pertinent letter
from an indignant private, which speaks for itself: "Dear
President I have been in the service eighteen months, and
1 have never received a cent. I desire a furlough for
fifteen days, in order to return home and remove my family
to the poor house/ The President granted the furlough.
It's a good story and true.

From Old Abe's Jokes: Fresh from Abraham's Bosom.
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General Grant and a rebel's knapsack 
The day before General Grant attacked Fort Donelson, the troops had had a march of twenty miles, part of it during a bitter cold night. Grant called a council of war to consider whether they should attack the fort at once, or should give the troops a day or two of rest. The officers were in favor of resting. Grant said nothing until they had all given their opinion; then he said: "There is a deserter who came in this morning, let us see him and hear what he has to say." When he came in, Grant looked into his knapsack. "Where are you from ?" "Fort Donelson." "Six days' rations in your knapsack, have you not, my man?" "Yes, Sir." "When were they served out?" "Yesterday morning." "Were the same rations served out to all the troops ?" "Yes, Sir." "Gentlemen," said Grant, " troops do not have six days' rations served out to them in a fort if they mean to stay there. These men mean to retreat, not to fight: we will attack at once. His action was as good as his word, and the eagles of victory soon perched upon his glorious banners.

From The Pictorial Book of Anecdotes and Incidents of the War of the Rebellion
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Colonel Owen's Squad Drill 
Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 03:39 PM - Army and Navy Jokes and Anecdotes, Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
Great difficulty was experienced in furnishing the Pennsylvania troops with shoes at the commencement of the three months service. Those that were furnished were generally much too large for the wearers - a fault which occasioned much merriment and some inconvenience. A raw recruit in Colonel Owen's regiment was being put through the squad drill, when the following colloquy took place

SERGEANT. " Why don't ye mind the others there, Patrick Kelly ? There ye've bin standin' like a spalpeen iver since ye come out, and niver a once faced to the right or left! Shure an' I'll arrist ye! D'ye mind that ?"
PRIVATE. " Ye're mistaken altogether, sargeant. Shure an' ye've been lookin' at me shoes. Devil a bit can I turn thim around! "
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Quakers in the ranks 
Thursday, October 4, 2007, 10:45 PM - Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
An amusing incident occurred at the Provost Marshal's office at Gen. Lee's head-quarters at Orange Court House, Va. Four Quakers were brought in as conscripts from London. They were ordered to fall in the ranks, in order to be marched to the command to which they were to be assigned. They refused, saying, "We will not fall in, but will follow whithersoever thou leadest." A few persuasive arguments, however, in the shape of thrusts with bayonets, changed their opinions, and they fell in and marched off to camp.
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Stonewall Jackson 
Monday, October 1, 2007, 01:15 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Civil War jokes and anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester


At a council of generals early in the war, one remarked able to perform a duty that it was proposed to assign him. " Wounded !" said Jackson. "If it really is so, I think it must have been by an accidental discharge of his duty."
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