History Jokes: Example for the entire army


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Example for the entire army 
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
A prominent volunteer officer who, early in the War, was on duty in Washington and often carried reports to Secretary Stanton at the War Department, told a characteristic story on President Lincoln. Said he : "I was with several other young officers, also carrying reports to the War Department, and one morning we were late. In this instance we were in a desperate hurry to deliver the papers, in order to be able to catch the train returning to camp.

"On the winding, dark staircase of the old War Department, which many will remember, it was our misfortune, while taking about three stairs at a time, to run a certain head like a catapult into the body of the President,striking him in the region of the right lower vest pocket. "

The usual surprised and relaxed grunt of a man thus assailed came
promptly.
"We quickly sent an apology in the direction of the dimly seen form, feeling that the ungracious shock was expensive, even to the humblest clerk in the department. "

A second glance revealed to us the President as the victim of the collision. Then followed a special tender of 'ten thousand pardons,' and the President's reply : " 'One's enough; I wish the whole army would charge like that.'"

From ABE LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF THE FUNNY AND WITTY ANECDOTES THAT MADE LINCOLN FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S GREATEST STORY TELLER
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It's tennis to me! 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:38 PM - Jokes and anecdotes of famous people, Humorous Stories about Sports and Games
Posted by Court Jester
Pop sensation Christina Aguilera was once introduced to the uncrowned king of golf, Tiger Woods. "Christina, I love your music," Woods declared. "I have all your CDs..." "Sorry, I don't follow tennis," Aguilera said, "so I don't know much about you."

See also:

An interesting approach to golf
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USA vs. Canada -- a Frenchman's Joke 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:26 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
The French ambassador to Washington, Jean Jusserand, was once discussing matters of European foreign politics with Theodore Roosevelt's wife. "Why don't you learn from the United States and Canada?" the First Lady responded. "We have a three-thousand-mile unfortified peaceful frontier. You people arm yourselves to the teeth." "Ah, madame," Jusserand sighed. "Perhaps we could exchange neighbors."
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Erigena and the King (the original Irish joke) 
One day tho king and Erigena sat on opposite sides of the
table, with the courtiers ranged around. The scholar—through
forgetfulness or ignorance—transgressed some of the rules of etiquette,
so as to offend the fastidious taste of those who sat by, upon which,
the king asked him what was the difference between a Scot* and a
sot (Quid distat inter Scottum et Sottum?). "
"Tabula tantum" (Just the breadth of the table)," said Erigena; and it is more
than likely that the royal witling ventured on no more puns, for
that day at least, at the scholar's expense. Erigena is said to have
died in France some time previous to the year 877.


* A Scot then meant a native of Ireland

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An Old Indian 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:07 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
AGED INDIAN.
The French, in the year 1696, attacked the Iroquois
Indians in Canada, whom they surprised and dispersed.
An illustrious warrior of that nation, who was more
than a hundred years old, disdaining to fly, or unable
to do it, was taken prisoner, and abandoned to the
savages attached to the French force, who, following
their barbarous customs, made him suffer the most
horrible torments. The old man never suffered a sigh
to escape him, but boldly reproached his countrymen
with rendering themselves slaves to the Europeans, of
whom he spoke with great contempt. These invectives
aggravated one of the spectators, who gave him three
or four blows with his sword, to finish him. "Thou
art wrong," said the prisoner, coolly, " to shorten my
life ; thou wouldst have had more time to learn how
to die like a man."

From The Percy Anecdotes
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