History Jokes: Last wish: a newspaper


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Last wish: a newspaper 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 08:05 PM - British humor, history of England, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
In the memorable battle of Trafalgar, William
Chambers, master of the Royal Sovereign, had part
of his side carried away while steering the ship towards
the close of the action. He just lived until
the firing ceased, when, with a feeble voice, he exclaimed,
"Oh, could I but read the Gazette of this
glorious day !" and, with the remaining breath still
left him, gave three feeble cheers, in which he
joined by another lying man, and both immediately
expired.

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Love and Glory 
In the year 863, Harold destroyed the host of
princes who had long divided Norway, and united
the whole of the provinces under his own dominion.
Being enamoured of Gida, the daughter of Prince
Eric, of Hadaland, he sent some persons of his suit
to conduct her to court. "Tell your master," said
the high-born princess, " that I will never consent to
marry him, until he shall reign over the whole of Norway,
instead of a few provinces." Harold was not
discouraged by this reply, but regarded it as a
summons to glory. He assembled troops, attacked all
the remaining chiefs of provinces, exterminated them
one after another, and thus won the hand of the fair
Gida.

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Suvorov in the Alps: how to talk to soldiers 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 07:55 PM - Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
SUVOROV QUELLING A MUTINY.
In crossing the Alps, the soldiers of Suvorov,
overwhelmed with fatigues, and dispirited with hardships,
no longer obeyed his voice, or observed their
usual discipline. He ordered a ditch to be dug, and
stretching himself in it, cried out to his mutinous
soldiers, "Cover me up with earth, your general
desires here to be interred, since you abandon him."
They all threw themselves at his feet, and followed
him with devotion and enthusiasm.

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Golf - an interesting approach! 
Louis B. Mayer (American producer, co-founder of MGM) had an admiration for 'class' and wanted badly to possess it. After being told that golf was a classy American sport, he decided to take it up. He never was able, however, to get the hang of it, as he never quite understood that the game was scored in strokes. Instead he treated golf as a kind of race. He employed two caddies. One caddy was posted down the fairway to locate the ball at once. Meanwhile caddy number two would run ahead, Mayer pelting behind him, to position himself for the next shot. When the game was over, Mayer would consult his watch. 'We made it in one hour and seven minutes! Three minutes better than yesterday.'

According to S. Birmingham, "The Rest of Us"
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Irish Air 
Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord Lieutenant, said to Swift one day, "The air of Ireland is excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down before her, "don't say so in England, for if you do they will tax it."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes
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