History Jokes: Jokes and anecdotes of famous people

One day tho king and Erigena sat on opposite sides of the
table, with the courtiers ranged around. The scholar—through
forgetfulness or ignorance—transgressed some of the rules of etiquette,
so as to offend the fastidious taste of those who sat by, upon which,
the king asked him what was the difference between a Scot* and a
sot (Quid distat inter Scottum et Sottum?). "
"Tabula tantum" (Just the breadth of the table)," said Erigena; and it is more
than likely that the royal witling ventured on no more puns, for
that day at least, at the scholar's expense. Erigena is said to have
died in France some time previous to the year 877.


* A Scot then meant a native of Ireland

In the year 863, Harold destroyed the host of
princes who had long divided Norway, and united
the whole of the provinces under his own dominion.
Being enamoured of Gida, the daughter of Prince
Eric, of Hadaland, he sent some persons of his suit
to conduct her to court. "Tell your master," said
the high-born princess, " that I will never consent to
marry him, until he shall reign over the whole of Norway,
instead of a few provinces." Harold was not
discouraged by this reply, but regarded it as a
summons to glory. He assembled troops, attacked all
the remaining chiefs of provinces, exterminated them
one after another, and thus won the hand of the fair
Gida.

From The Percy Anecdotes

SUVOROV QUELLING A MUTINY.
In crossing the Alps, the soldiers of Suvorov,
overwhelmed with fatigues, and dispirited with hardships,
no longer obeyed his voice, or observed their
usual discipline. He ordered a ditch to be dug, and
stretching himself in it, cried out to his mutinous
soldiers, "Cover me up with earth, your general
desires here to be interred, since you abandon him."
They all threw themselves at his feet, and followed
him with devotion and enthusiasm.

From The Percy Anecdotes

Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord Lieutenant, said to Swift one day, "The air of Ireland is excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down before her, "don't say so in England, for if you do they will tax it."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes

Mozart was once approached by a young man who was interested in Mozart's advice on how to compose a symphony. Since he was still very young, Mozart recommended that he start by composing ballads. Surprised, the young man responded, "But you wrote symphonies when you were only ten years old." "But I didn't have to ask how," countered Mozart.