History Jokes: American history in jokes, anecdotes and funny stories


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

An Old Indian 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:07 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
AGED INDIAN.
The French, in the year 1696, attacked the Iroquois
Indians in Canada, whom they surprised and dispersed.
An illustrious warrior of that nation, who was more
than a hundred years old, disdaining to fly, or unable
to do it, was taken prisoner, and abandoned to the
savages attached to the French force, who, following
their barbarous customs, made him suffer the most
horrible torments. The old man never suffered a sigh
to escape him, but boldly reproached his countrymen
with rendering themselves slaves to the Europeans, of
whom he spoke with great contempt. These invectives
aggravated one of the spectators, who gave him three
or four blows with his sword, to finish him. "Thou
art wrong," said the prisoner, coolly, " to shorten my
life ; thou wouldst have had more time to learn how
to die like a man."

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Golf - an interesting approach! 
Louis B. Mayer (American producer, co-founder of MGM) had an admiration for 'class' and wanted badly to possess it. After being told that golf was a classy American sport, he decided to take it up. He never was able, however, to get the hang of it, as he never quite understood that the game was scored in strokes. Instead he treated golf as a kind of race. He employed two caddies. One caddy was posted down the fairway to locate the ball at once. Meanwhile caddy number two would run ahead, Mayer pelting behind him, to position himself for the next shot. When the game was over, Mayer would consult his watch. 'We made it in one hour and seven minutes! Three minutes better than yesterday.'

According to S. Birmingham, "The Rest of Us"
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A Mexican Anecdote 
Monday, May 5, 2008, 08:32 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Practical Jokes and Silly Pranks
Posted by Administrator
The people of the Mexican capital had been told that the Americans eat children, and all these pledges of love had been removed, Lieutenant M., of the dragoons, having heard this story, accosted a man, and asked him if he knew where he could get "a nice fat boy for supper," adding that he was "very hungry,"

The astonished Mexican answered, with a doleful shake of the bead, "No hay."

"Well," said M., "as I'm hungry, I ain't particular; let as have a little girl, then."

The poor man, still more horrified, declared- that there were none of these in the village.

M. then turned to him and inquired, "Well, show me a market where I can get a nice piece of a full-grown man,"

This was too much for the Mexican, and he took to his heels m the twinkling of a jackknife.

From ANECDOTES OF GENERAL TAYLOR
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Benjamin Franklin takes a King 
While in France, Benjamin Franklin often played chess with an elderly duchess. Once, after he put her king in check and taking it, she reprimanded him by saying, "We do not take kings so". "We do in America", Franklin responded matter-of-factly.
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Henry Ford's Engineer 
A visitor at a Ford factory in Dearborn, Michigan had the good fortune of encountering Henry Ford himself, who, demonstrating a newly finished automobile, proudly stated that there were "exactly forty-seven hundred and nineteen parts in that model."

Impressed by Ford's exhaustive wealth of knowledge, the visitor located a company engineer and asked the man for confirmation: Were there in fact exactly forty-seven hundred and nineteen parts in that model?

The engineer shrugged his shoulders. "I certainly don't know," he replied. "I can't think of a more useless piece of information!"
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