History Jokes: British humor, history of England


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Last wish: a newspaper 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 08:05 PM - British humor, history of England, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
In the memorable battle of Trafalgar, William
Chambers, master of the Royal Sovereign, had part
of his side carried away while steering the ship towards
the close of the action. He just lived until
the firing ceased, when, with a feeble voice, he exclaimed,
"Oh, could I but read the Gazette of this
glorious day !" and, with the remaining breath still
left him, gave three feeble cheers, in which he
joined by another lying man, and both immediately
expired.

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Irish Air 
Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord Lieutenant, said to Swift one day, "The air of Ireland is excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down before her, "don't say so in England, for if you do they will tax it."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes
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Navy Blunders: Admiral Benbow  
When Admiral Benbow was a common sailor, his messmate, who was stationed with him at the same gun, lost his leg by a cannon shot. The poor fellow instantly called out to his friend, who immediately took him up on his shoulder, and began with great care to descend with him into the cockpit; but it happened that just as the poor fellow's head came upon a level with the deck, another ball carried that off also.Benbow, however, knew nothing of the matter, but carried the body down to the surgeon, and when he came to the bottom of the ladder, called out that he had brought him a patient, desiring some one to bear a hand, and help him easily down. The surgeon turned about, but instead of giving any assistance, exclaimed, "You blockhead, what do you do here with a man that has lost his head?" "Lost his head!" says Benbow; "the lying fellow, why he told me it was his leg; but I never in my life believed what he said without being sorry for it afterwards."
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C. S. Lewis-- a First Class Author 
Lewis, returning home from a walking tour, had just boarded the first class compartment of his train. An old lady, startled at seeing Lewis' unkempt appearance asked him, "Have you a first-class ticket?" "Yes, madam," he replied, "but I'm afraid I'll be needing it for myself."
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Queens of the Sea 


The great British Cunard ocean liner Queen Mary was originally to be called Queen Victoria. The head of the Cunard company explained to King George V (1865 1936) that he wanted to name the ship after "the greatest of all English queens." Upon hearing this explanation the king replied, "Oh, my wife will be pleased." As a result, the great ship was christened after Mary of Teck.


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