History Jokes: Suvorov in the Alps: how to talk to soldiers


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Suvorov in the Alps: how to talk to soldiers 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 07:55 PM - Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
SUVOROV QUELLING A MUTINY.
In crossing the Alps, the soldiers of Suvorov,
overwhelmed with fatigues, and dispirited with hardships,
no longer obeyed his voice, or observed their
usual discipline. He ordered a ditch to be dug, and
stretching himself in it, cried out to his mutinous
soldiers, "Cover me up with earth, your general
desires here to be interred, since you abandon him."
They all threw themselves at his feet, and followed
him with devotion and enthusiasm.

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Golf - an interesting approach! 
Louis B. Mayer (American producer, co-founder of MGM) had an admiration for 'class' and wanted badly to possess it. After being told that golf was a classy American sport, he decided to take it up. He never was able, however, to get the hang of it, as he never quite understood that the game was scored in strokes. Instead he treated golf as a kind of race. He employed two caddies. One caddy was posted down the fairway to locate the ball at once. Meanwhile caddy number two would run ahead, Mayer pelting behind him, to position himself for the next shot. When the game was over, Mayer would consult his watch. 'We made it in one hour and seven minutes! Three minutes better than yesterday.'

According to S. Birmingham, "The Rest of Us"
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Irish Air 
Lady Carteret, wife of the Lord Lieutenant, said to Swift one day, "The air of Ireland is excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down before her, "don't say so in England, for if you do they will tax it."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes
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A Mexican Anecdote 
Monday, May 5, 2008, 08:32 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Practical Jokes and Silly Pranks
Posted by Administrator
The people of the Mexican capital had been told that the Americans eat children, and all these pledges of love had been removed, Lieutenant M., of the dragoons, having heard this story, accosted a man, and asked him if he knew where he could get "a nice fat boy for supper," adding that he was "very hungry,"

The astonished Mexican answered, with a doleful shake of the bead, "No hay."

"Well," said M., "as I'm hungry, I ain't particular; let as have a little girl, then."

The poor man, still more horrified, declared- that there were none of these in the village.

M. then turned to him and inquired, "Well, show me a market where I can get a nice piece of a full-grown man,"

This was too much for the Mexican, and he took to his heels m the twinkling of a jackknife.

From ANECDOTES OF GENERAL TAYLOR
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Navy Blunders: Admiral Benbow  
When Admiral Benbow was a common sailor, his messmate, who was stationed with him at the same gun, lost his leg by a cannon shot. The poor fellow instantly called out to his friend, who immediately took him up on his shoulder, and began with great care to descend with him into the cockpit; but it happened that just as the poor fellow's head came upon a level with the deck, another ball carried that off also.Benbow, however, knew nothing of the matter, but carried the body down to the surgeon, and when he came to the bottom of the ladder, called out that he had brought him a patient, desiring some one to bear a hand, and help him easily down. The surgeon turned about, but instead of giving any assistance, exclaimed, "You blockhead, what do you do here with a man that has lost his head?" "Lost his head!" says Benbow; "the lying fellow, why he told me it was his leg; but I never in my life believed what he said without being sorry for it afterwards."
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