History Jokes: Famous funny quotes and sayings


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

A Stamp for King George 
George V, an avid stamp collector, was with his private secretary one afternoon when his secretary remarked,"I see in The Times today that some damn fool has given fourteen hundred pounds for a single stamp at a private sale." The king replied, "I am that damn fool."
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Benjamin Franklin takes a King 
While in France, Benjamin Franklin often played chess with an elderly duchess. Once, after he put her king in check and taking it, she reprimanded him by saying, "We do not take kings so". "We do in America", Franklin responded matter-of-factly.
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Compliment to King Charles II 
Charles II. was reputed a great connoisseur in naval architecture. Being once at Chatham, to view a ship just finished on the stocks, he asked the famous Killigrew, "If he did not think he should make an excellent shipwright?" He replied, "That he always thought his majesty would have done better at any trade than his own." No favourable compliment, but as true a one, perhaps, as ever was paid.

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes: Historical, Literary, and Humorous
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Captain Kidd -- Famous Last Words of a Pirate 
Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 02:35 PM - British humor, history of England, Famous funny quotes and sayings, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
Captain William Kidd (1645-1701), a famous British pirate, started his career as a regular sea captain. But when he was dispatched to the coast of Madagascar with the purpose of quelling marauding pirates, he joined them instead, and soon became one of the most ferocious raiders on the open seas. After several years of bloody raids on British ships he reached agreement with the English that he would surrender in return for a full pardon. Once he was in custody, the pardon was revoked and he was sent to the gallows. As the noose was put around his neck he said to the assembled crowds: "this is a very fickle and faithless generation."
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Understanding Einstein 
Albert Einstein's friend was once asked if it was true that only ten people in the entire world truly understood the man. After some pondering the man replied, "Oh, no. There at least twenty, but Einstein is not one of them."

From From Newton to ESP by L. LeShain.
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