History Jokes:


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Louis XI: The Star King 
King Louis XI of France was a firm believer in astrology and yet he was somewhat uneasy when an astrologer accurately predicted the death of a lady at court. He felt the astrologer would be better off dead, so Louis called him to his apartments where his servants were ordered to throw him out the window once given the signal.

First, however, Louis asked the man a question, "You claim to understand astrology and to know the fate of others, so tell me what your fate will be and how long you have to live." The astrologer replied, "I shall die just three days before Your Majesty." This so unnerved the king that he decided to let the astrologer live.
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Queens of the Sea 


The great British Cunard ocean liner Queen Mary was originally to be called Queen Victoria. The head of the Cunard company explained to King George V (1865 – 1936) that he wanted to name the ship after "the greatest of all English queens." Upon hearing this explanation the king replied, "Oh, my wife will be pleased." As a result, the great ship was christened after Mary of Teck.


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A Stamp for King George 
George V, an avid stamp collector, was with his private secretary one afternoon when his secretary remarked,"I see in The Times today that some damn fool has given fourteen hundred pounds for a single stamp at a private sale." The king replied, "I am that damn fool."
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Compliment to King Charles II 
Charles II. was reputed a great connoisseur in naval architecture. Being once at Chatham, to view a ship just finished on the stocks, he asked the famous Killigrew, "If he did not think he should make an excellent shipwright?" He replied, "That he always thought his majesty would have done better at any trade than his own." No favourable compliment, but as true a one, perhaps, as ever was paid.

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes: Historical, Literary, and Humorous
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Shaving a Queen -- Let the Barber Do His Best! 
Shaving a Queen.—For some time after the restoration of Charles the Second, young smooth-faced men performed the women's parts on the stage. That monarch, coming before his usual time to hear Shakespeare's Hamlet, sent the Earl of Rochester to know the reason of the delay; who brought word back, that the queen was not quite shaved. "Ods fish" (the king employed his usual expression), "I beg her majesty's pardon! we will wait till her barber is done with her."

From The Book of Three Hundred Anecdotes: Historical, Literary, and Humorous
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