History Jokes: History of France in jokes


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Louis XI: The Star King 
King Louis XI of France was a firm believer in astrology and yet he was somewhat uneasy when an astrologer accurately predicted the death of a lady at court. He felt the astrologer would be better off dead, so Louis called him to his apartments where his servants were ordered to throw him out the window once given the signal.

First, however, Louis asked the man a question, "You claim to understand astrology and to know the fate of others, so tell me what your fate will be and how long you have to live." The astrologer replied, "I shall die just three days before Your Majesty." This so unnerved the king that he decided to let the astrologer live.
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Death of a Hero 
Sunday, April 13, 2008, 12:28 PM - Religious jokes, Church history jokes, Clean Christian jokes, History of France
Posted by Court Jester
Death of a Hero.—At the battle of Malplaquet, in 1709, Marshal Villars was dangerously wounded, and desired to receive the Holy Sacrament. Being advised to receive in private, he said, "No, if the army cannot see me die like a hero, they shall see me die as a Christian."
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A monkey and a parrot 
Tuesday, April 8, 2008, 06:15 PM - History of France
Posted by Court Jester
A young Madame de Choiseul longed for a parrot, that
should be a miracle of eloquence ; and, as every shop in Paris
then sold macaws, parrots, cockatoos, &c., a parrot was soon
found for the nymph ; but -she had another passion, and was
enamoured of General Jackoo, a celebrated monkey, at Astley's :
ingots of gold were offered for this monkey, but Astley demanded
a terre for life ; but fortunately, another miracle of a monkey
was heard of, who was not in so exalted a sphere of life, being
only in a kitchen, where he had learned to pluck fowls with
inimitable dexterity. This dear animal was not invaluable,
was bought, and presented to Madame de Choiseul, who immediately
made him the secretaire de ses commandemens. The
first time she went out, the two animals were locked up in
her bedchamber. When the lady returned, Jackoo the second
received her with all the empressement possible — but where
was Poll ? — found at last under the bed, shivering and cowering —
and without a feather, as stark as any Christian. Now,
the two animals had been presented by two rival lovers of
Madame ; and Walpole humorously tells us " Poll's presenter
concluded that his rival had given the monkey with that very
view, challenged him, they fought, and both were wounded ;
and an heroic adventure it was !"

From A Century of Anecdote from 1760-1860 by John Timbs
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Charles De Gaulle who? 
Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 07:23 PM - History of France, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Queen of History Jokes
A speaker once told De Gaulle that he resembled Robespierre. De Gaulle responded, "I always thought I was Jeanne d'Arc and Bonaparte. How little one knows oneself!"
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Napoleon's Secretary 
Monday, March 17, 2008, 01:03 AM - History of France, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
In order to encourage his secretaty, Bourrienne,
under the arduous labour that he continually imposed upon
him, Bonaparte would sometimes say, " Bourrienne! we shall
go down to posterity together!" The vanity of this hope was
shown in the answer — "Can you tell me who was the secretary
of Alexander?"
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