History Jokes: American history in jokes, anecdotes and funny stories


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Ted Williams - baseball player for the Boston Red Sox 
Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 07:41 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Humorous Stories about Sports and Games
Posted by Court Jester
Ted Williams had a reputation for having a disagreeable personality. Once when he was checking into a hotel under the false name of "G.C. Luther" the clerk asked him if he was really Ted Williams. Williams denied it and they went on to have a pleasant conversation about fishing. The clerk finally remarked, "I thought you really were Ted. But I can see you're not. You've got a much nicer disposition."

Ted Williams was an avid fisherman and was very knowledgable on the subject. He once told a Boston sportswriter that there was noone who knew more about fishing than he did. The writer replied, "Sure there is. God, who made the fish." "Yeah, all right," conceded Williams. "But you had to go pretty far back."
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Mae West-American actress (1930's) 
Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 07:40 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Art History Jokes and Anecdotes
Posted by Court Jester
One friend of Mae's was overwhelmed when she saw a string of pearls around her neck."Goodness, Mae," she responded, "where did you get those pearls?" "Nevermind," countered Mae, "but you can bet goodness had nothing to do with it."

When asked how she was so familiar with the ways of men, Mae West responded, "Baby, I went to night school".
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Mark Twain's pious remark 
Once a notoriously tough businessman told Mark Twain, "Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I will climb Mount Sinai and read the Ten Commandments aloud at the top." Disgusted, Twain replied, "I have a better idea. You could stay at home in Boston and keep them."


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President Truman and his economists 
Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 07:43 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts
Posted by Court Jester
Tired of conflicting views from economists, Harry expressed his frustration and joked, "All my economists say, 'on one hand...on the other.' Give me a one-handed economist!"
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt and tedious small talk 
Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 01:18 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
Roosevelt was often bored by the tedious small talk that was required of him at social functions. He often felt as if those with whom he conversed were seldom paying attention to what was said. To prove his point, sometimes Roosevelt would begin a conversation by saying, "I murdered my grandmother this morning." Often these words were met with polite approval. On one occasion, however, an attentive listener gave the witty reply, "I'm sure she had it coming to her."
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