History Jokes: Caesar's wife must be above suspicion!


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion! 
Bona Dea (Lat. "the Good Goddess "), in Roman myth, a divinity also known as Fauna or Fatua and described as the sister, daughter or wife of Faunus. Her worship was exclusively confined to women in somuch that men were not even allowed to know her name. Being the goddess of fertility her rites degenerated from rustic simplicity in their original environment to unseemly license in the metropolis. The matrons of the noblest families in Rome met by night in the house of the highest official of the state. Only women were permitted to attend. The breach of this rule by Clodius, an aristocratic profligate who was in love with Caesar's wife, Pompeia, and assumed female disguise to gain admittance to the festival occasioned a great scandal. Though there was no direct evidence of collusion on the part of Pompeia, Caesar divorced her on the famous plea that "Caesar's wife must be above suspicion."


From Heroes and Heroines of Fiction, Classical MediŠval, Legendary by William Shepard Walsh
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Lincoln and a Soldier's Request for Furlough 
President Lincoln received the following pertinent letter
from an indignant private, which speaks for itself: "Dear
President I have been in the service eighteen months, and
1 have never received a cent. I desire a furlough for
fifteen days, in order to return home and remove my family
to the poor house/ The President granted the furlough.
It's a good story and true.

From Old Abe's Jokes: Fresh from Abraham's Bosom.
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Death of Archimedes 
When Syracuse was taken, Archimedes was describing mathematical figures upon the earth, and when one of the enemy came upon him, sword in hand, and asked his name, he was so engrossed with the desire of preserving the figures entire, that he answered only by an earnest request to the soldier to keep off, and not break in upon his circle. The soldier, conceiving himself scorned, ran Archimedes through the body, the purple streams gushing from which soon obscured all traces of the problem on which he had been so intent. Thus fell this illustrious man, from the mere neglect to tell his name; for it is due to the Roman general, Marceline, to state, that he had given special orders to his men to respect the life and person of the philosopher.

From Percy Anecdotes
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Roman Wit 
Sunday, March 9, 2008, 10:20 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman
Posted by Court Jester
A Roman knight coming to Adrian to request a favour of him, received a denial: the knight was old, and had a very gray beard, but a few days after, having covered his beard black, like a young man, he came to the emperor again about the same business. The emperor, perceiving the fraud, said to him, " I would be very glad to gratify you in your desire, but a few days past I denied it to your father, and therefore it would not be just to grant that to the son which I refused to the father."

From The Olio, Or, Museum of Entertainment
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Amusing story of a ring 
Saturday, March 8, 2008, 05:40 PM - British humor, history of England, Modern Age History
Posted by Court Jester
A correspondent to 'Notes and Queries ' (vol. i. series 3,
p. 36), relates the following curious anecdote : ' A gentleman,
who was in the habit of frequenting a favourite spot for the
sake of a view that interested him, used to lounge on a rail,
and one day in a fit of absence of mind got fumbling about
the post in which one end of the rail was inserted. On his
way home he missed a valuable ring ; he went back again
and looked diligently for it but without success. A considerable
time afterwards in visiting his old haunt, and indulging
in his usual fit of absence, he was very agreeably
surprised to find the ring on his finger again, and which
appears to have been occasioned by (in both instances),
his pressing his finger in the aperture of the post, which
just fitted sufficiently with a pressure to hold the ring. I
afterwards tried the experiment at the spot, and found it
perfectly easy to have been effected with an easily fitting
ring.'
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