History Jokes: Cato and statues


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Cato and statues 
Sunday, March 16, 2008, 12:52 AM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
Cato, on observing that statues were being
set up in honour of many, remarked, "I would
rather people would ask, why is there not a statue
to Cato, than why there is."

From Greek Wit: A Collection of Smart Sayings and Anecdotes by Frederick Apthorp Paley
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Caesar and the pilot 
Once he had taken ship in disguise to cross the Adriatic Sea, and the helmsman, terrified by the adverse wind, dared not pursue his course. But Caesar said to him, " Fear not, my friend! You carry Caesar and his fortunes!"

From the Bible for Leaners
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Caesar's wife must be above suspicion! 
Bona Dea (Lat. "the Good Goddess "), in Roman myth, a divinity also known as Fauna or Fatua and described as the sister, daughter or wife of Faunus. Her worship was exclusively confined to women in somuch that men were not even allowed to know her name. Being the goddess of fertility her rites degenerated from rustic simplicity in their original environment to unseemly license in the metropolis. The matrons of the noblest families in Rome met by night in the house of the highest official of the state. Only women were permitted to attend. The breach of this rule by Clodius, an aristocratic profligate who was in love with Caesar's wife, Pompeia, and assumed female disguise to gain admittance to the festival occasioned a great scandal. Though there was no direct evidence of collusion on the part of Pompeia, Caesar divorced her on the famous plea that "Caesar's wife must be above suspicion."


From Heroes and Heroines of Fiction, Classical MediŠval, Legendary by William Shepard Walsh
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Lincoln and a Soldier's Request for Furlough 
President Lincoln received the following pertinent letter
from an indignant private, which speaks for itself: "Dear
President I have been in the service eighteen months, and
1 have never received a cent. I desire a furlough for
fifteen days, in order to return home and remove my family
to the poor house/ The President granted the furlough.
It's a good story and true.

From Old Abe's Jokes: Fresh from Abraham's Bosom.
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Death of Archimedes 
When Syracuse was taken, Archimedes was describing mathematical figures upon the earth, and when one of the enemy came upon him, sword in hand, and asked his name, he was so engrossed with the desire of preserving the figures entire, that he answered only by an earnest request to the soldier to keep off, and not break in upon his circle. The soldier, conceiving himself scorned, ran Archimedes through the body, the purple streams gushing from which soon obscured all traces of the problem on which he had been so intent. Thus fell this illustrious man, from the mere neglect to tell his name; for it is due to the Roman general, Marceline, to state, that he had given special orders to his men to respect the life and person of the philosopher.

From Percy Anecdotes
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