History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories.


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Spartan Soldier's Wit 
Just before the battle of Thermopylae, a Spartan
soldier came and reported, that the Persians were
so numerous, that their clouds of arrows darkened the
sun. 'So much the better,' said Leonidas,' for we
shall fight in the shade.'

From The Flowers of Wit by Henry Kett
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Spartan army on the march - friend or foe 
Wednesday, February 6, 2008, 05:58 PM - Ancient history jokes and anecdotes, Greek and Roman, Spartan anecdotes and short funny stories
Posted by Court Jester
Agesilaus, intending to march through Macedonia,
sent to ask the king of that country whether
he intended to receive him as a friend or an
enemy. " I will consider," he replied. "Then,"
said the Spartan, "do you think about it, and
we meanwhile will commence our march." The
king very soon sent a message : "Come as a
friend." PLUTARCH, Ap. Lac., Ages. 43
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Spartans and the arts 
* * *

A Spartan ephor cut two of the strings of a
harp, saying to the performer, " Don't murder
music."

* * *

Some one seeing a picture of Laconians being
killed by Athenians, observed, "Brave fellows,
these Athenians." "On canvas," interposed a
Laconian.

From 'Greek Wit: A Collection of Smart Sayings and Anecdotes' by Frederick Apthorp Paley.
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Spartan meal 

Xerxes, when he fled from Greece, left
Mardonius all his costly dinner-service of plate.
Pausanias, aware of this, ordered the cooks, after the
death of Mardonius at Plataea, to prepare a dinner
precisely as they would have done for Mardonius.
When this was ready, and the divans
and gold and silver tables had been duly set out,
he told his own servants to prepare a Spartan
dinner. Laughing heartily at the contrast, he
called his generals and said, "Gentlemen, I
wished to point out to you the folly of this Persian
general, who with all this grandeur came to rob
you of your miserable meal."
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