History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories. British humor, history of England


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Famous quote about the British Empire with a clever addendum 
Wednesday, March 3, 2010, 11:45 PM - British humor, history of England, Famous funny quotes and sayings
Posted by Court Jester
"The British empire, sir," exclaimed an orator, "is one on which the sun never sets."— "And one," replied an auditor, " in which the tax-collector never goes to bed."

From "The Jest Book"
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Prince Philip-Husband of Queen Elizabeth II 

Early on in their marriage, Princess Elizabeth and Prince Philip were crossing the water to Vancouver Island in Canada. The weather was unsettled and the ship was rocking violent. Just as a young petty officer arrived in the royal suite, the ship lurched and the tray of tea cakes he was holding fell to the floor. Surprisingly, Philip jumped onto his hands and knees and helped to gather them up. After retrieving a handful of cakes he returned to his seat and turned to Elizabeth and playfully remarked, "I've got mine--yours are down there."

Prince Philip was visiting an Australian University where he was introduced to a couple identified as "Mr & Dr. Robinson". The husband explained, "My wife is a doctor of philosophy. She is much more important than I." Prince Philip sympathetically replied, "Ah, yes. We have that trouble in our family, too."

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A Scotch Anecdote of Gladstone 
Friday, December 12, 2008, 05:35 PM - British humor, history of England, Jokes and anecdotes of famous people
Posted by Court Jester
Mr. Gladstone's fluency in argumentation, although i natural gift, was purposely fostered by his father: indeed, all the family were accustomed to argue about everything that turned up at table or elsewhere. On one occasion William Gladstone and his sister Mary disputed as to where a certain picture was to be hung. An old Scotch sen-ant came in with a ladder and stood irresolute while the argument progressed ; but as Miss Mary would not yield, William gallantly ceased from speech, though unconvinced of course. The servant then hung up the picture where the young lady ordered; but when he had done this he crossed the room and hammered a nail into the opposite wall. lie was asked why he did this:

"Aweel, Miss, that'll do to hang the picture on when ye'll have come roond to Master Willie's opeenion.
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Lord Byron's Childe Harold: a literary anecdote 
Thursday, October 16, 2008, 08:03 PM - Anecdotes and jokes about writers, philosophers and scientists, British humor, history of England
Posted by Administrator
Mr Dallas, who so ably fulfilled the duties of accoucheur
to the Childe, was also resolved that it
should not come into the world without a sufficient
enunciation ; and, accordingly, prepared a review of
it for a literary journal to be published immediately
on the appearance of the poem. By a very awkward
mistake, however, the review appeared before
the thing reviewed ; and Byron was greatly vexed,
from a very likely supposition that he would be
considered the author of it. Mr. Dallas, however,
explained, and the matter was made up.
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Words from God 
The historicity of this anecdote is more than doubtful. It does, however, provide a beautiful insight into the ways human mind often operates:

A middle-aged Londoner was faced with a difficult decision when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary, both willing to join him in matrimony. Although not a religious man, this Londoner stumbled into a church and, kneeling down in the pew, asked God for advice on whether he should have Ann or Maria for his wife. When the man got up he was most pleased to see that the Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: ‘Ave Maria.

From Engraved Style
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