History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories.


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

An Old Indian 
Sunday, May 18, 2008, 08:07 PM - American history in jokes,anecdotes and funny facts, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
AGED INDIAN.
The French, in the year 1696, attacked the Iroquois
Indians in Canada, whom they surprised and dispersed.
An illustrious warrior of that nation, who was more
than a hundred years old, disdaining to fly, or unable
to do it, was taken prisoner, and abandoned to the
savages attached to the French force, who, following
their barbarous customs, made him suffer the most
horrible torments. The old man never suffered a sigh
to escape him, but boldly reproached his countrymen
with rendering themselves slaves to the Europeans, of
whom he spoke with great contempt. These invectives
aggravated one of the spectators, who gave him three
or four blows with his sword, to finish him. "Thou
art wrong," said the prisoner, coolly, " to shorten my
life ; thou wouldst have had more time to learn how
to die like a man."

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Last wish: a newspaper 
Friday, May 9, 2008, 08:05 PM - British humor, history of England, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
In the memorable battle of Trafalgar, William
Chambers, master of the Royal Sovereign, had part
of his side carried away while steering the ship towards
the close of the action. He just lived until
the firing ceased, when, with a feeble voice, he exclaimed,
"Oh, could I but read the Gazette of this
glorious day !" and, with the remaining breath still
left him, gave three feeble cheers, in which he
joined by another lying man, and both immediately
expired.

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Navy Blunders: Admiral Benbow  
When Admiral Benbow was a common sailor, his messmate, who was stationed with him at the same gun, lost his leg by a cannon shot. The poor fellow instantly called out to his friend, who immediately took him up on his shoulder, and began with great care to descend with him into the cockpit; but it happened that just as the poor fellow's head came upon a level with the deck, another ball carried that off also.Benbow, however, knew nothing of the matter, but carried the body down to the surgeon, and when he came to the bottom of the ladder, called out that he had brought him a patient, desiring some one to bear a hand, and help him easily down. The surgeon turned about, but instead of giving any assistance, exclaimed, "You blockhead, what do you do here with a man that has lost his head?" "Lost his head!" says Benbow; "the lying fellow, why he told me it was his leg; but I never in my life believed what he said without being sorry for it afterwards."
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The Poor Animal: a Prisoner's Dog 
Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 02:04 PM - Dogs, Cats and other Animals featured in Jokes, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
FATAL SYMPATHY. One of the prisoners in the Port Royal, or Port Libre, during the government of Robespierre, had brought a favorite dog with him to prison. The poor animal ate, drank, and slept, with its master, until it was deprived of him by a denunciation from one of the prison spies, and his consequent death. The dog now became an interesting object in the prison, and was caressed by everybody. One gentleman in particular, an intimate friend of the deceased, was overheard by one of these guillotine providers, as he was apostrophizing the poor beast in the following terms : "Poor fellow, what will now become of you 1 Your friend and master is gone." The eaves-dropper came up and said, " You, sir, who seem so much interested in the fate of this dog and his master, look to yourself ; we shall contrive to settle your business." This threat was verified in a short time ; the poor man's compassion for the dog cost him his life.

From Percy Anecdotes

See also:
Dog training ideas
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Captain Kidd -- Famous Last Words of a Pirate 
Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 02:35 PM - British humor, history of England, Famous funny quotes and sayings, Life and Death
Posted by Court Jester
Captain William Kidd (1645-1701), a famous British pirate, started his career as a regular sea captain. But when he was dispatched to the coast of Madagascar with the purpose of quelling marauding pirates, he joined them instead, and soon became one of the most ferocious raiders on the open seas. After several years of bloody raids on British ships he reached agreement with the English that he would surrender in return for a full pardon. Once he was in custody, the pardon was revoked and he was sent to the gallows. As the noose was put around his neck he said to the assembled crowds: "this is a very fickle and faithless generation."
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