History jokes, famous anecdotes and short funny stories. Religious jokes, clean Christian jokes


Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Mark Twain's pious remark 
Once a notoriously tough businessman told Mark Twain, "Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I will climb Mount Sinai and read the Ten Commandments aloud at the top." Disgusted, Twain replied, "I have a better idea. You could stay at home in Boston and keep them."


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Death bed joke (Heinrich Heine) 
Saturday, April 4, 2009, 02:02 PM - Religious jokes, Church history jokes, Clean Christian jokes
Posted by Administrator
As Heinrich Heine, a famous German poet, laid on his death bed, an officious priest advised him to make his peace with God lest he die unforgiven. " I am not worried," Heine said, "Dieu me pardonnera; c'est son metier?" (God will forgive me. That's his job).
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Two rings: an anecdote with a moral 
Friday, November 7, 2008, 04:22 PM - Religious jokes, Church history jokes, Clean Christian jokes
Posted by Administrator
This anecdote is actually taken straight from a Catholic Catechism by Joseph Baxter.

A certain monarch caused the figure of an angel to be carved in white marble. From the left hand of this statue hung a silver ring attached to a thin silken cord, while the right hand held a golden ring suspended from a diamond chain. The king's son and daughter asked their father what these two rings were intended to signify. He answered : "I will give the rings to whichever of you can guess their meaning aright." Then the prince said : " The rings are doubtless emblems of friendship and love." The king replied : " That is quite right. But why is one ring made of gold and the other of silver?" The princess answered: "The silver ring signifies human friendship and affection. That friendship, that affection, cannot be relied upon; it hangs, as it were, by a slight cord which is easily broken. The gold ring signifies the love of God for man ; that is firm and unchangeable ; it cannot be broken." The king praised his children for the good answers they had given ; he gave the silver ring with the silken cord to the prince, and the gold ring with the chain of diamonds to the princess.

On promise rings see:
Promise rings: history and meaning
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Words from God 
The historicity of this anecdote is more than doubtful. It does, however, provide a beautiful insight into the ways human mind often operates:

A middle-aged Londoner was faced with a difficult decision when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary, both willing to join him in matrimony. Although not a religious man, this Londoner stumbled into a church and, kneeling down in the pew, asked God for advice on whether he should have Ann or Maria for his wife. When the man got up he was most pleased to see that the Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: ‘Ave Maria.

From Engraved Style
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Death of a Hero 
Sunday, April 13, 2008, 12:28 PM - Religious jokes, Church history jokes, Clean Christian jokes, History of France
Posted by Court Jester
Death of a Hero.—At the battle of Malplaquet, in 1709, Marshal Villars was dangerously wounded, and desired to receive the Holy Sacrament. Being advised to receive in private, he said, "No, if the army cannot see me die like a hero, they shall see me die as a Christian."
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