History Jokes:

Funny anecdotes and short stories are a great source of examples in public speeches. This website contains short funny stories, clean jokes and humorous legends of kings and queens, politicians, famous literary figures and artists from many books and sources. The styles of writers from different time periods was preserved - they often enhance the stories in an amusing way. Enjoy and have fun!

Descartes refuted 
Latin language and the vicinities, painting of Rome

In 1649, René Descartes, a famous French philosopher and the author of the "Cogito ergo sum" principle, accepted the invitation of Queeen Christina of Sweden, who was deeply interested in philosophy, and traveled to Stockholm. As he explained to her majesty the basics of his mechanistic philosophy, comparing all living beings to mechanisms, the queen remarked that she had never heard of a watch giving birth to little baby watches.

See also: Watchmaker argument

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Death of Archimedes 
When Syracuse was taken, Archimedes was describing mathematical figures upon the earth, and when one of the enemy came upon him, sword in hand, and asked his name, he was so engrossed with the desire of preserving the figures entire, that he answered only by an earnest request to the soldier to keep off, and not break in upon his circle. The soldier, conceiving himself scorned, ran Archimedes through the body, the purple streams gushing from which soon obscured all traces of the problem on which he had been so intent. Thus fell this illustrious man, from the mere neglect to tell his name; for it is due to the Roman general, Marceline, to state, that he had given special orders to his men to respect the life and person of the philosopher.

From Percy Anecdotes
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Plato's wit 
Plato, living in the Academy at Athens, which
the physicians considered unhealthy, was advised
to remove to the Lyceum. "I would not have
removed even to the top of Mount Athos," he
replied, "for the sake of a longer life."
(Aelian, Var. Hist. ix. 10.)

* * *

When Plato was lecturing on his theory of "Abstracts,"
Diogenes said, "Table-ism and cup-ism
I cannot see, though I can see a table or a cup."
"That," replied Plato, " is because you have eyes
to see the one, but not mind to apprehend the
other." (Diog. LAERT. vi. 2, 53.)

From Greek Wit: A Collection of Smart Sayings and Anecdotes by Frederick Apthorp Paley
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Locke on the Understanding 
Mr. Locke having been introduced by Lord Shaftesbury to the Duke of Buckingham and Lord Halifax, these three noblemen, instead of conversing with that philosopher on literary subjects, as might naturally have been expected, in a very short time sat down to cards. Mr. Locke, after looking on for some time, took out his pocket-book, and began to write with great attention. One of the company observing this, took the liberty of asking him what he was writing1 "My lord," says Locke, " I am endeavoring, as far us possible, to profit by my present situation; for having waited with impatience for the honor of being in company with the greatest geniuses of the age, I thought I could do nothing better than to write down your conversation : and indeed I have set down the substance of what yon have said for this hour or two."This well-timed rebuke had its effect ; and the noblemen, fully sensible of its force, immediately quitted their play. and entered into a conversation more rational, and better suited to their reputation as men of genius.

From The Percy Anecdotes
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Thomas Aquinas 

St. Thomas possessing an ardent mind, devoted it to the studies then in vogue, scholastic philosophy and theology. In the latter, indeed, he was so eminently successful, that Bucer said of him: Tolle Thomam, et Ecciesiam Romam subverterem: "Take away St. Thomas, and I will effect the downfall of the Roman Church."

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