Puns and Conundrums 
Friday, December 12, 2008, 05:45 PM - Satire
Some Puns and Conundrums from "Wit and Humor of the Age" by Melville De Lancey Landon, Mark Twain


Why is a lawyer like a restless sleeper?
He lies first on one side and then on the other

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What animal would be likely to devour a near relation?
The ant-eater.

Why is a gun like a jury?
It goes off when discharged.

What animal has death no effect upon?
A pig; when killed he can be cured.

Why are teeth like verbs?
They are regular, irregular and defective

Why is a kiss like a scandal?

Because it goes from mouth to mouth.

Why is the most discontented man, the most easily satisfied?
Nothing satisfies him.

"The peace maker" - a pair of scisors.

"Can't be beat" - turnip.


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